Holidays a Good Time to Check Elderly Parents' Liv

Mary King - Mary King is a Suite101 Topic Editor for the Caregiver Support and Home Management sections. She has authored 5 teen-based novels.

Use Holiday Gatherings to Evaluate an Aging Parent's Living Situation - pedrosimoes7

Long-distance family caregivers can take full advantage of a holiday visit to Grandma and Grandpa by checking on the welfare of the aging loved one(s). Look behind the scenes and take note of any concerns – signs that the aging senior or couple is no longer able to manage self-care and daily living activities. Call for a meeting of family members to discuss elder-care issues that may need to be addressed right away.

Signs That an Elderly Person May Need Help

Our aging parents, grandparents or other close relative want to remain independent, but sooner or later the person of advanced age is bound to need help. Holiday visits present a perfect time for checking on elderly loved ones to see how they're getting along. Don't take the aged person's word for it that everything is fine. Instead, look for clues, subtle or glaring, that point to needed help.

What clues might indicate an elderly relative isn't doing so well? At first glance:

A messy home. You know Grandma hates clutter, dust on the bookshelves and dirty dishes left in the sink, but her home is now far from spotless. Repairs to the home are needed, too.A messy appearance. Grandpa always prided himself on looking sharp, but this year something seems amiss. He's wearing clothes that need washing and it appears that he hasn't bathed or shaved in a while.Lack of food or nutritional foods in the house. The kitchen cabinets are almost empty, except for a few boxes of cereal. The refrigerator isn't much better; the milk and some other perishable foods have expired.Unopened mail. There are quite a few unopened utility bills on the desk, past-due payment letters from creditors and other dated materials that haven't been opened.

There are other signs that show an aging senior needs assistance at home:

Expired medications in the medicine cabinet. These can be dangerous for two reasons: 1. Drugs altered by time can cause unexpected reactions. 2. Old drugs (no longer prescribed by the doctor) taken with newer prescriptions can be toxic.Dents in the elderly person's car. Take this as a sign that it's time for the senior to give up the keys.Excessive telephone calls from creditors. It'll take a few days to notice, but continuous calls from bill collectors might be a sign that the grandparents aren't adequately managing their money.Making excuses for obvious problems. If elderly Aunt Agatha is making far-fetched excuses for her cluttered messy house or for not paying her bills on time, then it's time to intervene.Family Caregiver Support for An Elderly Parent or Relative

There's no question that your aging parents need more help; the twice-weekly phone call to check up on them is no longer enough. The family has gathered together for the holidays, so there's no better time to hold a family meeting to address the eldercare issues. But where do you start? What's the best way to approach the elderly person who needs help at home?

Begin by assuring your parents, grandparents or senior relative that no one is trying to take away his independence. Honesty is always best. Let the elder know that you have concerns. Emphasize that he or she is still in charge and that you only want to pitch in and help where help is needed most. The senior might even be grateful to have the help.

When there are several concerns, family members can split the work. A trustworthy relative who lives close by might help by taking over paying the bills, for example. A son or daughter who lives out of state might help by hiring a housekeeper to come in once a week to clean Grandma's house. Grandchildren can pitch in too, by cleaning the yard or running the vacuum cleaner.

The holiday season is a time for family gatherings, but it also presents a good opportunity for younger adults to check up on aging seniors. Look for uncharacteristic behavior in Grandma or Grandpa (or other senior) that might be a sign that something isn't quite right. Take the necessary steps to make changes and put into action whatever assistance is needed to improve the situation. Don't try to do it all yourself; call on other family members to offer support. With the right approach the aging senior will benefit from the assistance and will be able to remain in his or her own home for a few more years.